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2011-10-22T02:39:00.001+05:30

Chameleon...a very popular species. Extraordinary defense mechanism eh? Don't run, don't flee, don't be aggressive either, just keep your calm, adjust your own self, and voila....the world loves you. Fascinating creature this chameleon is, absolutely fascinating.

Scene 1 :

Just another regular day at office. Suddenly I hear some commotion from my workshop. I rush out, and find that one of my workers has lost three fingers due his carelessness while operating a machine. I see him shivering in pain. I find something wet rolling down my left cheek. Am a guardian now, and within seconds I regain composure, and rush out to arrange medical attention.

Scene 2 :

"You are like a piece of metal, it's impossible to break you. We are mortals, we shed tears when we have a heartbreak". One of my closest friends literally cursed me when I tried to make him understand that a break up is not the end of the world. I pat him on the back, extend my hand, throw him the helmet and we are off for a glass of lassi. And I am his friend.

Scene 3 :

And I send a recharge to her BSNL number so that she can uninterruptedly chat with her boyfriend. "Thank you brother, love you. Muaah." And hence comes the confirmation text for the receipt of the talktime.

Scene 4 :

"Three cheers for India"..and we roam about the city at midnight to celebrate India's World Cup trimuph. Am a guy afterall.

Scene 5 :

May 11, 2009. First day at office. Absolutely gloomy atmosphere. I go to dad's cabin - "What's wrong?"
"You remember I told you about that huge order we secured? The material has been rejected. 34 lakhs worth filters have been totally wasted."
"Give me two days to study the filters properly dad. That test rig was built by me. Guess its destiny that the filters would be passed in my presence only."
"It's impossible to pass them. There has been an error on my part while selecting the material."
"If you ever have to trust your son, just do it now."

Scene 6 :

3 weeks later - "How come these filters are showing the desired efficiency now!" questions a stunned inspector.
"Guess there was some leakage in the test rig. Hence air pressure was not developing. Hope we can have the shipping release now sir. Dad is really worried." And am a Devil now. An actor as well. As the saying goes, everything is fair in love and war.

Scene 7 :

"Never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight"....and the singer Akash hums one of his favourite tunes, while the driver Akash steps on the pedal a bit more. He looks up through the windshield at the shining crescent moon, and dreamer just wishes that someday, technology would be advance enough to let him fulfil his childhood dream of watching the Great Wall of China from the moon. The student Akash read somewhere once upon a time, that this is the only man-made structure visible from the moon, and since then he dreams of going there.

Scene 8 :

I stand in front of a mirror. I keep on looking at myself. Should I be proud that innumerable people would love to see me dead as that would once again trigger their business growth? Am an enemy to many I guess. Or should I be ashamed that I have become corrupt down to my very cells? Am a human as well.

Scene 9 :

And finally one rainy night, the writer sits down to scribble his thoughts. He is alone tonight. He has some time in hand. And he thinks. He portraye himself to be God, when he thinks of the fantastic achievements in professional life. He finds himself to be cruel when he remembers the innumerable times he has hurt his near and dear ones, sometimes knowingly, sometimes out of sheer ignorance. He is a rockstar when a party is on, with one after another tequila shots rushing down his veins. He is a loner when a family is enjoying dinner in a train, while he keeps on reading a book, maybe he's on a business trip. He's a lover when he hopes that someday he might run into his Miss Right, who will proudly accompany him to his second dream destination, Antarctica to frolic with the Penguins. And then suddenly he realises that he is a true artist, he has painted a collage of his life with the bit of vocabulary that he has!

"Be like water, fit into every vessel, and life will keep flowing smoothly." Grandma said these words once. And hence, as long as am performing all these different roles, I am no different from anyone. I am just ME.

The changing colors of a chameleon are a treat to watch.

Black Heart

2011-10-20T00:48:00.000+05:30

Burnt my soul,
Now its darker than coal.
Pushed my soul,
In a deep dark hole.
Made my soul,
Act in a negative role.
Felt my soul,
Being stripped by a pole.

And in the debris I search
For the heart that was once mine,
So pure, so innocent,
Shining like a shrine,
Quarter of a century, boy time just flew by,
Can buy a shop of hearts now,
But where the hell is mine?

Wait till Death

2011-07-22T17:37:00.004+05:30

These steps just started,
But they came to a halt,
Do I have the courage
To hear again my fault,
This heart keeps repeating
Let's go and meet her once;
I make her understand-
'Fella, stop your stupid dance.'
A long time, its over,
Or does the fire still burn,
Looks like my love is floating,
Like the ashes in an urn.
It pains, it rains,
And then it calms down again,
Do I need to live a life like this,
Am scared down to my very vein.
I take a step, and pull it back,
All allegations form a wall too high;
I try too hard, but I can't hate her,
Am just waiting for my love to die...

Weirdo!

2011-06-28T21:23:00.004+05:30

"Brother, if you want, I can try once again to bring the two of you together."
The words of my sister sparkled a 1000 watt bulb within the deepest and darkest corner of my heart. 'Can she do it!' I thought. The life that I had dreamed of, the life that I have lost, can she bring it back!
"You seen Superman eh sis? Know what his only weakness is?"
"Some green substance, if I remember correctly."
"Yup..Kryptonite, its the element with which his home planet is built of. Same is the scenario here. You bring something which is too intrinsic to me, it will weaken me. She is my weakness. I still love her an awful lot.."
"Even after she accusing you this harshly!"
"Yes dear. When I think of her, its the girl I madly love comes to my mind, not the momentary madness that was shown. And hence, since she is my Kryptonite, I better keep her away from me."
"You know what bro? She told me a few days back, after I left the city, Akash never even bothered to ask if am even alive or dead."
"Yup. Akash never bothered about anything. It's just that even a mild fever in her body was known here. Anyway. Bunk it."
"Weird expectations. She leaves you, she shuns you, and then she expects you still to care for her!"
"Love is weird sister. The one who shunned me loved me more than I loved her. Or should I rephrase and say, loves me more than I love her. But as the saying goes, the banks of a river only meet at the origin, and we are well past the origin..."

Falling like a Feather...

2010-12-26T21:00:00.002+05:30

In memories I still feel,
Somewhere I've lost me,
Deep down in some trench I lie,
Waiting to be set free..
Crumbling at the sight of all shadows,
Learning to live all alone,
Trying to lighten all that is dark;
Too much of darkness has grown.
Holes and pores all fluttering around,
But these eyes keep sinking deeper,
To judge the depth,
Of the deepest of oceans,
You need the perfect diver.
Some feelings were wrong,
Pieces of heart are gone,
Things left untold,
It was known all along,
Pushing fates together,
Punishing souls forever,
My spirit lies in space,
I feel it falling like a feather....

Time Unknown

2010-09-28T08:53:00.001+05:30

Since time unknown,
Am craving for truce,
Since time unknown,
Am searching for peace,
Whenever I see
Some changes in me,
Since time unknown,
My senses all freeze!

Since time unknown,
Have started losing all games,
Since time unknown,
I started calling myself names,
Whatever happens
Around me nowadays,
Since time unknown,
Have started taking all the blames!

Till time unknown,
Will my destiny keep on bitching me?
Till time unknown,
Will my fate keep on itching me?
With crimes like mine,
Giving kicks like old wine,
Till time unknown,
Will Almighty keep on teaching me?

Memories Forever

2010-07-04T19:24:00.004+05:30

On the sand of time,
Some memories are etched forever,
Time waits for none,
It flows on like a river;
Storms subside,
They leave traces in our hearts,
We leave all that's old & worn,
Waiting for blazing starts.
These moments with life,
We cherish till we live on,
These memories that we make-
They last long after we are gone..

Lovely Hope

2010-06-06T23:55:00.002+05:30

A window I see, amidst the canopy of mine,
With some sparkling light, bit of gleam, bit of shine,
Without hearing a word, I venture into my dreams,
With laughter beckoning me, I feel some far faded screams;
Staring at the moon, I try to find some face,
Looking deep inside me, I find myself in a maze,
I wait at a horizon, with twilight smiling at me-
"Look before you leap sonny, but at heart you are all free.."

I smile by myself,
I feel the power of time,
I know not what magic is this,
Which makes me do this beautiful crime;
I keep on knocking myself all day,
Trying to be just back on land,
Spending the moments waiting for life,
Akash once again has some work in hand!

Vanished Friend

2010-04-16T23:16:00.003+05:30

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him.'
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
'Here's a telegram sir,' 'Jim died today.'
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

One of my friends mailed me this poem, and I simply loved it. The truth of our pathetic lives has been described magnificiently in these few lines and I just could not resist the temptation of sharing this wonderful piece of poetry.

Past...Forgotten?

2010-03-18T23:53:00.001+05:30

All promises made of glass eh love?
Like a pack of cards, our home just fell!
The candle in my soul, burns no more yo love,
The one who made heaven, has also made hell.

Destroying me, my love is winning worlds,
Destroying worlds, once I won my love,
Being blind in love, I hurt so many,
I must pay it back all, before my journey above.

When with friends, I feel like being alone,
When alone, my loneliness runs down shivers;
Life has been cruel, but have always won the battle,
Yet, my love, you have made me loose forever.

I brought back smile to your face,
Look at what you have given me back,
Some moments to cheer, some of despair,
Am still in love, trying to hate you fast...

Current Scenario of Clean Air Business

2010-01-21T22:18:00.004+05:30

“Higher the efficiency, lower the longevity”

With this key-word in mind, I went out to promote my company about a year ago. Usually any person begins from his native place, gains experience amongst his own people, and then sets out to win the world. But with a factory in West Bengal, and with an immensely ambitious nature, I began my marketing career in Orissa. Andhra Pradesh, Uttar Pradesh, Jharkhand, Haryana and Delhi NCR followed closely, and then finally I did a bit of marketing in Bengal as well. One year work experience may seem to be a pretty short time, but the amount of knowledge I have gathered by virtue of extensive touring is worth a life-time.

Air Filters are perhaps one of the most neglected industries in India. Only because it is given in the patent drawings and manuals that people are bound to use filters, or, as I felt after conversations with numerous people, they would have let their ACVS (Air Conditioning and Ventilation System) or AHUs (Air Handling Units) run without filters at all. Power plants, fertilizers, and steel plants still try to maintain the standards a bit, though at many places, they also don’t have the proper arrangements to check when to replace the filters. The rule, as per ASHRAE standards is that a filter needs to be cleaned when the pressure drop goes up to three times its initial pressure drop in clean condition. But hardly a handful of people are aware of this fact. To check this, pressure tappings and pressure gauges are the necessity. Another important thing I have noticed is that in most cases, the end-user is not at all aware of how to clean the type of filter. Media is the primary component of a filter. Whether the filter is to be cleaned by pulse air jets, or washed by water is totally dependent on the type of media used by the manufacturer. HDPE, for example is water washable, whereas water is a strict no for filters using felt as media.

Hospitals and shopping malls are perhaps the graveyard for filters, as well as filter manufacturers. I have seen certain places where the filter frame is there, the media, which used to be felt has been totally washed away, and the AHU thus stands naked. They are constantly complaining the AHU manufacturers about the system not working properly, but hardly do they ever think how much part dust can play in corroding the sophisticated, yet fragile AHU. When I gave these particular people a proper sample HDPE filter for testing, they complained after a few days. What was the complain? – “Sir, the cleaning cycle is increasing as we can already see that the filter is getting dark. It is catching quite a lot of dust, we don’t want such high efficiency.” I asked them if the AHU was getting chocked or something, coz I feared I may have got the flow calculation wrong. But everything was working fine. It was just that they wanted air filters just for show, not for its actual usage.

It is my earnest request to these humongous units and small industries alike – please try to understand the worth of air filters. Wherever there is an air intake or circulation system, please provide air filters. They are not at all a costly affair, but they can save and increase longevity of other costlier components. Cleaning of filters is not at all a tedious job, but just make it sure from your manufacturer what type of cleaning should be carried out. If your filter is getting chocked even in clean condition, it is usually because the total surface area of the media provided is insufficient to take in the amount of air. Increase the number of filters, or increase the number of folds of media in each filter. With rise in air pollution, air filters are the cheapest solution to let your industry breathe clean air.

I haven’t been very long in the industry. Am only learning from seniors with whom I interact during my business tours. I have no intention of challenging or disrespecting any person or industry, as am myself a part of it. But as a new-comer, and future generation businessman, I have one, and only one motive – to see Indian industries at par with foreign standards. Hence, I just thought of sharing a few experiences that this young learning mind has gained.

Précising Precision

2009-11-22T14:03:00.005+05:30

This anecdote has been written by Shankha, one of my best buddies. A few encouraging comments may give birth to another rookie blogger. Good luck bro!

“Oye, what’s the time now?”
“It’s 15 to 7 I guess; not sure. My watch has gone mad since she left. Lucky charm.”
“But exactly ….”
“It’s exactly 3 to 7” I broke my silence.
“And seconds?” Riti added.
‘His time or mine? ….. It’s 37’. Analog watches are always perfect, specially when it’s stopped.

We were strolling by the shadowy footpaths of Southern Avenue when this fiery discussion broke out between, two guys and one Shankha … at least that’s what they say. You won’t find a ‘Shankha’ gender anywhere, I just got lucky. “Benefit of doubt” and again this is ‘what they say’!

Whatever, Ritinkar has always a good timing to hurry for home and surely deserves a hug from my part. The debate of precision just heated up between Ritinkar and Akash.
Riti, “then why bank statements shows paisa? If precision is not required, they could just round it off. Nobody would’ve cared.”
“Ooye stupid, if they start to round it off, where are they gonna put the bloody paisa? In the ‘Rounded Off Account’ you S.O.B.?”

And while they were busy doing these, I was doing another noble job. Counting girls and rating them. Still maintaining standards you know. But my extremely helpful buddies just were not letting me concentrate on this high profile task. Voices can at times be so loud and irritating!
Akash, “very well, if you are sooo much precise about time, I think your wife would have a horrible night life! You believe in God, right boss? Just go ahead and select the precise time, down to micro-seconds from one of the fucking holy books before playing the world’s favorite sport”
“May be, but precision is something which is not for everyone”
“Yea, and maybe your frustrated to be may come up to me or Shankha to help her out”, snapped back Akash.
“Riti, tell me your age; precisely”, and here I finally poked in.
“22 years, 4 months and 13 days”, replied a proud engineer after going through rigorous calculations for what seemed like an hour.
And Riti, poor Riti gave a sign of relief, thinking he had belled the C.A.T.
“You are forgetting the minutes and seconds dear. Be precise”, I spontaneously carried on.
Riti, our adamant Riti went back to his life-time calculations and came up with – “4 hours 17 minutes..”
“You are forgetting Riti..2 more seconds passed while you were speaking”, Akash struck back like lightning.

Mind on a Horizon

2009-10-25T09:08:00.006+05:30

Trickle, the winds, swinging my hairs a bit,
Clears up my forehead, I feel so light,
I roam about on four wheels of god,
Am happy, am sad, am enjoying my life.
The clouds are thick, sun's about to set,
It peeps out of the shadows, to have a last look;
It's going away, only to come back again,
It will shine very soon, on rivers and brook.
I feel am happy, someone asks me from behind,
What am I doing right now?
Am just reopening my mind..
This brain knows only business,
This heart can count all money,
Am accused I have no emotions,
After all these years, doesn't this sound funny?
Beats my heart, on the tunes of life,
I paint my thoughts on a scratched out paper,
A big red horizon invites me to join,
All memories mixing up to shadows and vapor...

A letter...Never delivered

2009-10-17T13:53:00.012+05:30

Yo luv...hi. This is the last time am gonna tell you a few things. Don't tear apart this piece of paper. A few lines are not gonna harm you. Firstly, wish you a Happy Puja. Won't lie by writing that you are enjoying this puja a lot. But you will get over. Am sure of that. At times, I still get a bit angry on you, coz I try to figure out the reasons for our splitting. But the intensity has gone down. Your presence turned an animal into a man. Your absence has turned the man into a gentleman. Have become much more reserved. You have always been very loving and considerate. But pull down your expectations a bit. Every person has his own pros and cons. You can't customize humans, can you? Don't keep running from your past. You still are the girl whose eyes used to order me. Try to have confidence on people dear, there are good people in this world apart from your family. Trusting people has actually become my problem, coz your departure has hammered the final nail in my coffin; I can't trust anyone nowadays. There's another thing I'd like to tell ya. Try to avoid the corporate world. You are a really good girl, but this corporate stuff is not your cup of tea. I have always had a bad feeling about this, hence I had decided to make you join my business. Don't let anyone influence your decisions, anyone. There's another thing...try to control your insecurity feeling, coz your words in those moments can hurt someone. The real fight will begin now dear, fight hard. I will keep on updating myself about you from time to time. Afterall am a stubborn scorpio. But don't worry, that's my problem.
I have never ever doubted you. Maybe I used some wrong words or tones, but that's life. Hope someone stayed back in the car with my tired darling on Shashthi night. Know what? When I went to your sister's home to bring you back, I had'nt properly taken food for two days. My legs were shaking a bit, so I asked your mom if I could just rest for 10 minutes. She snapped back ordering me to leave within 5 minutes. She had her reasons, I understand. But that is the biggest insult I have ever received. Still, I never thought of getting even. For love's sake, this much can be beared..right? Never sacrifice your dignity for anything dear, but remember...love is something ethereal. We fight and quarrel with our loved ones only. Long letter eh? Fingers are paining now. I no longer write anecdotes. Have loved and cared for you as much as I can. But guess I have my limitations. Nowadays am doing what my brain is best designed for...am earning money. The irony is, have no one to spend it on. Miss you, my Lady in Red. Love you.
Akash

Wrote her this letter before the Pujas. One of my friends was supposed to visit her, so I thought I would send the piece of paper also. But some problems arose, resulting in the cancellation of the visit. So, it remained undelivered.

City Lights

2009-09-21T22:18:00.003+05:30

Fleeting glances of the world I see,
On the roads of this city, I let my dreams flee,
The strong dusty asphalt once again reminds me,
"So many vehicles ply on me, yet I stand in victory."
Cars change their lanes, they glow in city lights,
Each has a story of its own, some adventures, some frights;
They bear the sun, they bear the rain,
Yet they fulfill their missions, all fatigue goes to drain..
To celebrate life, comes the STOP line to say-
"Rest a little here, then start all over again...."

Off I Move

2009-09-06T12:55:00.005+05:30

The earth cools down,
Its raining, still raining,
The heavens cry aloud,
Its raining, still raining;
The sound of water,
It soothes a burning soul-
No flames, no smoke,
To unknown places my dreams prowl.

Golden times, they last like dew-drops,
They visit us only to leave;
The train of my life
Has left yet another station,
And off I move-
With some hopes, and some grief...

Sleepless Nights

2009-08-30T18:00:00.005+05:30

Like a desert, so dry,
These eyes can never be moist,
The drums do beat,
But without any rhythm,
All blood, they lie in waste.
Looks good, aurora, from the land
Where we stand;
But it kills the air we breathe-
With glamor and glitter, some shine like gold,
With a soul wrapped up in a black sheet!!
Memories haunt me, my dreams taunt me,
Long nights, they seem so dark and deep,
No peace, no bliss, no heart to beat-
All I need, right now,
Is a long-lasting sleep...

Dasvidaniya

2009-08-11T10:30:00.004+05:30

My love has left me....finally. Feeling a bit empty right now, after all, she is the love of my life. I called her up a couple of minutes back...I realized how bad, how cruel, how ruthless, how heartless I am all over again. She remembers that I slapped her twice, she remembers that I pushed her a couple of times, she remembers that I have always pinched her with spear-edged words words whenever I lost my temper...she remembers it all. My moon no longer basks in my light, she has become a star...she has her own light, her own glow. Am thinking right now...what am I thinking?? Am feeling a bit heavy, haven't been able to work properly for the last couple of days, though usually am the most active guy in office. She says that she is shattered, she says that she has no love or respect for me anymore. Cool. I stand tall, as I have always done, can't find anyone nearby to just say that am tired, am really tired. I used to call her my UPS. Now I have no one to turn to. When I look back in time now, contrary to what she remembers, am only being able to see the moments which made her my darling. Miles of walking together, fighting over trivial issues, discussing about other couples breaking up, and feeling proud saying we will always be together. Literally I did keep my commitment, I never broke up, but somewhere down the road, I feel its all my fault. Am tough, am unbreakable, my heart follows my mind, hence she told me the last time I called her up - "Am feeling sick right now talking to you, shall call you later." I promised her once that I would marry none except her. I do keep my promises, am known within my friend circles for this thing, and I surely will keep this one. Am feeling a bit angry right now, am feeling a bit sad right now, and again I feel empty. Someday, somewhere down the road, I hope we meet again. I still want her back in my life, yet I want her to settle down with a normal person and be happy. I love to play with kids, don't know if it would be the same with hers. Shit!!! Finally after many many years, I can feel a drop trickling down my eyes. Brilliant, am feeling like a mortal again. I started this blog for her only, so until I feel like spilling myself over for her, this is my last post. Dasvidaniya.

Study Time....Baby

2009-07-24T09:49:00.003+05:30

Like a rocking horse, my love moves to and fro,
Oh! She's worried, her exams are just a couple of hours to go!!
She worries, she studies, and again she worries,
And here, my heart is hit by cupid's arrow.
Am sitting behind her, watching her tensed,
I try to console her, but she thinks this is the world's end;
"Am never gonna pass", she wails for a moment,
And again the bloody books become her best friend!!!
I haven't read a line, and yet am in total bliss,
And lo...see my princess...a couple of chapters remain,
And she thinks the degree's gonna miss.

But... this is the way am used to,
To see her sweet and worried,
Looking back at me, with sleepless eyes,
And gesturing, "cummon, you also study."
My heart just melts, to see my love,
Rocking to and fro on a chair,
I feel like making a bit of love,
But with exams to come, would I dare??

A Hearty SMS

2009-07-17T12:14:00.010+05:30

Got back home, tired from work. Called up my girlfriend, had a 15 mins chat, and then, out of thin air came out one of my short sms-type poems (or whatever you may call it..).

In this dust
Together with mist
Talking with u
I take here a twist
A mean mean world
just drains me apart
But a word from you
Just melts my heart...

Here's another one:-

The words u speak
Like honey they are sweet
To be with you
My heart wants to cheat
You are far away
Feels like u r with me
Dancing and romancing like nomads of the past
Always together....in sad times or in glee!!!!

Ether Gods

2009-05-10T17:03:00.005+05:30

Waves of the deep,
Engulf me, in my mirror,
They travel and travel,
They gather all might;
But still they break down,
The rock is their terror...

Can you count the grains of sand?
Can your palms ever hold them tight?
Can you count the sparkling stars in the sky?
Or make them dim at night?

But yet, the limits of love are traced,
Oh yes, Mars does give Venus some fright..
The heat is on, the light is gone,
Closer to its demise, the time moves on,
Ethereal, love turns,
Know not what magic it churns,
Should have been bored by now,
But hell, am still dreaming...
Off cupids...off unicorns...

Cons of Love

2009-04-24T01:25:00.011+05:30

23rd April 2006...guess it was about 3 in the morning. Something went horribly wrong in me, and I somehow managed to spill out my first proposal ever...it was over the phone. A few seconds of silence, and bingo! I had a girlfriend!

Three years gone, and by the grace of the stars, this Scorpion and his Sagittarius woman are still very much in love. With one another of course. But, but, but...this little post is not dedicated to my love, its rather written for one of my best friends...yea..one of the guys who went to Bakkhali with me. This guy claims to be very, very happy with his single, sort of bachelorhood. Booze, buddies and gadgets are more than enough for him - at least so he claims. So, my dear pal, read on...

There are a few cons about being in a relationship. Like, the girl will keep on nagging all day long if you have taken your meals. Specially, if you are a bit of a careless bugger like me, she may at times get on your nerves! My girl once went to Kashmir on a vacation for a fortnight. There was a couple of days in between when she landed up in some area where the mobile signals were jammed, and hence, I was relieved off the annoying calls. Guess I was in the bliss of solitude... But, strangely enough, I just couldn't sleep that night! Something was not working right for me...I was, actually missing her annoying talks!

You have to bear a lot of unnecessary pains too buddy..and I do have another of my experiences to back this up. It was a couple of years back (hope my memory's not fading). We were in a packed up local train, and I somehow felt that some of the people in that bogey were deliberately generating a pressure, simply to fall on my girl. She was the only girl in that bogey. I made her stand by a steel divider, and just kept my right arm before her, not touching her, but right before her stomach. By the time we boarded down, I felt like my shoulder would almost fall down. I had successfully kept about 20 odd people at bay. Unnecessary pain, isn't it? But when I was looking at those guys in the train with my typical sarcastic grin, I could simply feel their frustration...when we were walking later on, I saw her eyes too..they were brimming with pride...I had won the respect of a girl...not a bad reward eh?

Love can give a hard pinch on your pocket dude...it can in fact deliver some of the hardest! A lunch at Pizza Hut or Dominos, and 500 odd bucks gone from my bank balance. You gotta be rich when you are a bachelor. Hence, a few months back I decided that no more expensive food, no more luxuries, absolute Spartan existence. And my girl agreed. But after a few days, I myself broke my vow. I just couldn't resist to see her lips all lapped up in cheese or chocolate, her eyes half closed in euphoria, and a voice claiming - "Wow! What a meal". Money is supposed to make you happy, and that's what my money does too!

I had thought about writing this post yesterday only. But I had a minor accident last night, the entire skin from the little finger on my right foot literally ripped off, and I was in quite a horrible sort of pain. I resisted the pain for about half an hour, but finally gave up, and called up my girl. She's no doctor all right, she's an engineer too. We talked for about an hour; rather she talked for about an hour, am usually quieter than her. And I was lulled to sleep....Magic.

Fall in love buddy, its a magic, more magical than you can ever see, its the dream which can be dreamt with open eyes. There are moments of quarrels, there are these moments when we erupt like Mt. Vesuvius....but we spill our angers on people we love, don't we?

Good-bye College

2009-04-08T23:26:00.006+05:30

Life, I can't keep up pace with you,
Slow down, give me time to catch my breath;
My golden times are fading away,
Under a tavern of deep cloud and sleet.
Unfulfilled dreams, some broken, some forsaken,
They still ringing the bells in my heart,
More friends to make, more beer bottles to rake,
And yet sweet life, you are about to part...
Fun with pals, dates with love,
All left behind, times ahead are so tough,
The colors are all gone,
Just some collage to cherish,
With burdens and duties, the innocence must perish;
So incomplete I feel, yet hope lingers in me,
I will live again, my life, with love in harmony.

Destination Bakkhali

2009-03-15T20:09:00.030+05:30

"Okay then, Sunit, you give Riti a call, make whatever arrangements you can within yourselves, but be at Sealdah station within 6:30 A.M. The Sealdah-Namkhana local leaves at 6:50. I would be boarding the train from Ballygunge, and Shankha from Sonarpur. If things go right, we should be at Bakkhali within 12 in the noon."

"Okay Akash..good night..cya tomorrow". replied Sunit.

And I went to sleep, after a pretty tiring day. Had been planning this trip for the last 4 hours. Afterall, a Bakkhali trip from Kolkata takes atleast two days, but due to our time constraints, I had to fit it in a single day...hence, all the homework.

As planned, I boarded the train from Ballygunge at 7:03 A.M. and I found Sunit & Ritinkar waiting for me. After about 20 mins, Shankha boarded the train from Sonarpur, and thus began our journey. The train was quite crowded as it was a weekday, Thursday to be specific, but we didn't have much problem as the rush began from Sonarpur itself, but the three of us were already seated, and we kept another space occupied for Shankha. The 3 hour train journey was enjoyable and irritating at the same time. Beautiful and fertile Bengal, with its lush green meadows was a sight to capture.

But at the same time, owing to a single track for majority of the distance, the train had to often halt at various stations to let the opposite train pass, and hence sucked up a lot of our valuable time. But we kept ourselves busy with dirty jokes and illogical talks. And finally we reached Namkhana at about 10:05 A.M. Me and Ritinkar had digicams with us, while Shankha had his handycam...hence photoshoots were inevitable.

People usually take cycle vans from Namkhana to the Hatania-Doania creek. But we were told by a localite that the distance was about 1 Km. Hence we preferred a walk, saving Rs. 5 per head. It took us about 10 mins. to reach the bank, from where we boarded a ferry to cross the river. Here, I got a real shock when I realised that the cost of this ferry transport totalled to 75 paise [50 paise for ferry, and another 25 paise to entry fee]. This simply amazed me, for we, at Kolkata usually don't deal in such low denominations. The boat-trip was very, very short [about 2 mins], but highly enjoyable. Afterall, open ferry is always an enjoyable affair, with the cool wind brushing your hair, and drops of water often landing on your nose.

Our next vehicle was a bus, which would finally take us to Bakkhali. 13 rupees per head, and 45 mins of journey finally took us to the nearest beach to Kolkata. On our way, we saw the impressive wind-mills of Frazergunj. We set foot on the hot sand of the beach at about 11:35 A.M. Initially, we had planned that we won't be going into the waters much. But a beautiful beach in sight, and the cool waters trickling down the toes made it sure that four 22 year olds could not restrain themselves. And even though we had not brought any spare clothes, we simply gave up the resistance and surrendered ourselves to nature.

On the beach, we kept our belongings on a chair, which cost us 5 rupees. After an hour of frolic, we somehow dragged ourselves out of the waters, and trudging through the hot sand, we went to a jewelry shop. I purchased a wristlet, a necklace, and a pair of earrings for my girlfriend, and all of these junk jewelry were based on shells. They cost me a total of 40 bucks. My friends also made some purchases. And then we headed for lunch. We had heard that lobster was really cheap, and so it turned out to be. We had our lunch at Hotel Parijat. A lobster meal, consisting of a bowl of rice, dal, potato chips, a cauliflower preparation and a lobster cost us only 100 bucks. Light on pockets, heavy on stomach...that's the way we boys like it.....

After the healthy and hearty meal, we hired a cycle-rickshaw van to Henry Islands. It cost us Rs. 25 per head. The 9 Km. long journey took about 50 mins., through the core of the village. It took us another 5 rupees per head to get an entry ticket to the Henry Island Fishery Projects, as is its full name. On our way, we came across a strange tree with 9 heads.

The beach of Henry Islands was an absolute beauty. Going into the sea here was prohibited. But the sight alone was magnificient. With hundreds and thousands of red crabs, a dark brown clayey beach, and almost void of people, nature simply ushered upon us here. The quietness of the sea added to ambience.

As Wordsworth has said-"Loneliness is the bliss of solitude"

We began our trip back by the same cycle-rickshaw and reached J.D. crossing at about 4:00 P.M. The road to J.D. crossing was much better and the bus tickets this time was Rs. 10.50. We reached Namkhana at about 4:50 P.M. and again took the ferry. Our tired legs took 20 mins. this time to reach the station. With a ticket worth Rs. 20, I boarded the train, which was scheduled to leave at 5:35 P.M. And so it did.

The journey back home was a much quieter one. We did have some gossip, we did crack a few jokes, but our hearts did long for a bit more. Shankha got down at Sonarpur, and I reached Ballygunge at about 8:15. The others continued their journey to Sealdah, which takes another 15 mins. A tired body took bed as fast as it could, but the mind, it could take more....much much more...

Love Is Blind?

2009-03-08T00:31:00.011+05:30

"Love is blind". And thus ends a movie. I sigh. I yawn. I retire to my room. And off I go to my sweet little dreams. About 5 years back, this was how I used to be.

I see the same damn movie again, after about half a decade. And my reactions haven't changed a bit. But do I really have the right to be like what I used to?

"Am growing fat!!!", she screams.
"Oh! You look the same" I smack back.
"Then why is everyone saying that I have gained weight?" she snobs.
"And how am I supposed to know that!", replies my irritated soul.
And a small conversation takes place for about an hour.
Jesus! My phone bills....
I turn off the lights, lay back on my bed, stare in the dark, and go back in time.

"You haven't called me even once in the last couple of hours! You are changing Akash, you are no longer the same boy who proposed me. You don't love me anymore", and the next thing I hear is a dead tone.
"I told you, you sick fuck, keep safe distance from girls, but...", my brain scolded my sweet little heart, which in return gave a dialogue it gives often-"All in good time".
And thus I hung on to the relationship. After all, am a scorpion, am a hard nut to crack. "These people hardly ever fall in true love, but when they do, they are the best in the business", said a horoscope site, I don't remember which one though.

"A whole week has passed by, yet you haven't taken me to a single movie! You are changing Akash, you are no longer the same boy who proposed me. You don't love me anymore", and the next thing I hear is a dead tone.
My heart popped out of my mouth. How the hell is a man supposed to express his love!!! Its almost month-end. Haven't yet received my tuition fees. Am finding it hard to make both ends meet. And here is my Cleopatra, demanding me to spend over 300 bucks over some stupid Bollywood masala flick. Jesus, help me...

"Its okay Akash, you have invested a pretty huge sum with your bank. Your savings account is almost nil. Just make your passbook look better, and we will go out for lunch."
My heart swells with pride. I could not have made a better choice. This is the right girl for me, this is my girl for me.

She has changed a lot in a couple of years. She knows me, she understands me, and she now sort of likes my weird ways. Guess she can finally feel my love.
A few days back, we were having a sort of lovers' quarrel, when she snapped back at me, "Oh! You know, am nearly perfect." I sighed away from her. In my heart, I knew she was lying. If she claims to be "nearly perfect", I don't know what the hell "perfect" means.

And my "perfect" lady can't be fat, can she?
Amen.

A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed

2009-03-01T16:16:00.011+05:30

"I feel like shitting in my pants buddy...this seems to be tougher than the semester exams!!".
"Calm down dude...this is gonna be a piece of cake for ya".
"Asshole, how the hell am I supposed to be calm when am planning to go for my first blind date???"

And thus, with grit and determination, our beloved Shankha was preparing himself for his first blind date, rather his first date, and that too at the cost of my nerves. He had called be the night before, told me that he would be coming to my home after college the next day. But that fucker never told me the reason. Anyways, even if he had told me, it would have made the least of differences. Afterall, my rooms' a clubhouse..

And so he came, at about 3:30 in the afternoon. Banged his bag on my bed, and to my utter shock clothes began to unravel from his bag. And the bitter truth dawned upon me. This moron chose my home to change and freshen up after college as his date would be coming at a place near my home...dog

As if this nerd had not pissed me up enough, he opened up his hole again..."Dude, I don't really know the place too well...will u come with me??"

"Motherfucking asshole...you would be hugging and smooching and what would I do...lighten you up with a hurricane so that u can continue your good deeds after sunset??"

But he convinced me allright...he's a damn good friend of mine...and as the saying goes, "A friend in need, is a friend indeed." "Okay", I finally agreed, "but after your porn shooting is over, you are gonna give me a treat." And our beloved, single, and desperate Shankha agreed without a word.

Wait for the girl was a very, very short one. Hardly 5 mins had we been there when I heard a trembling voice beside me.."Akash, this is the girl I think, she waving at me".
I snapped back, "How is she supposed to recognize you, idiot?"
"I mailed her one of my pics".
And hence I took the pain of turning and looking at the damsel, and it did turn out to be real, real pain. Her waistline was surely bigger than mine, and she seemed to have more biceps and triceps than a professional body-builder!!! "You are in deep shit you dog", I grinned.

Shankha himself is quite a chubby kid. A bit short, quite fat....but this lady...I instantly had the idea that a sumo wrestler would be an ideal match for her. She came up, waving at Mr. Love, who in turn gave a helpless look towards me. I just shook her hands briefly, even a second of which seemed a pretty long time to me, and then I moved a few metres away from the love-birds...

I preferred to utilize this time and took a long jog round the park...but I kept an eye out for those two. I saw my friend having a cold drink, I noticed a box of who-knows-what being given by the girl, and after 15 minutes, I started giving my friend missed calls..

Annoying as I can be at times, 6 consecutive missed calls in a minutes made it sure that the next thing I saw was the couple getting on their feet, waving at each other, and me jogging back to my friend. I again had a brief hand-shake with her, and then, the huge figure began to fade away (it took her a long time to fade though).

A Valentine Biography

2009-02-13T21:39:00.023+05:30

"This is our third Valentine's Day...are you again planning to give me nothing!!". I kept quiet. Its true. I have never given her anything on a Valentine's Day. I watched a movie with her today. Then we went to the bus-stand together. She boarded the bus. I kept on looking, and I kept on looking until not a sign of her was left behind. Am back home. Now's the time to think.

Choices are unlimited. Earrings, bangles, perfumes...my girl deserves all. I do gift her things, this and that, often. But am not really someone who seeks occasions. When I like something, I go for it. Oops! Am deviating from my topic. Was talking about gifts, not my girl. The problem here is that the things I think would match her grace cost at least a 1000 bucks. And the rest....I just can't make my Cinderella be in rags..can I? After all, she is "my precious" [a.k.a. LORD OF THE RINGS].

Have fought a lot for her. Seniors, colleagues, friends, family, and God knows what else...forgot to mention, her God. I don't believe in God. She is my first love, and I sincerely hope my last too. The taste of love, its like wine, the older it gets, the more punches it gives. Things have changed, can't deny that. During those early magical days, I could wait for hours to get a glimpse of her. I would walk many kilometers for her sake, I would spend hundreds of bucks on my sim to hear her voice, I would bunk college on important days, just to give her company.

Things have changed. Have become much much more materialistic. Emotions won't help me make her mine. Money, position, prestige can. So am running after them. I used to spend so much on her, have stopped spending even a paisa on myself now. Shares, banking, selling things, am doing all that can be done right now to increase my bank balance. Would be joining business soon, have given up a dream of an MBA to live a life with my dream. Yes, things have changed. I used to live moments with her, now am running to make a life out of these moments.

As for the gift, before she went off today, she gave me a sweet little smile. She spent a whole day with me, and she was happy. That smile means my life to me. God gifts us life, what do we gift Him??

Cheer up, Mon Amour

2009-02-13T15:58:00.010+05:30

I hate the sight of blood,
But still it flows in my veins,
I hate the heat of the dry old sun,
Yet I fear the wrath of the rains!!
All that I see near or far,
Has some need indeed, for some conjurer.
I wait for the good times,
But I live in the bad ones,
I despise all crimes,
Though can't claim have committed none.
Through twists & turns, God's gift reaches us,
And it reaches its climax, turning numerous bends,
But time is the best author of all,
It will surely script the best of ends..

Fleeting Desires

2009-02-07T22:12:00.006+05:30

Dreams,
Sweet dreams,
Some dissolve in the deep dark shroud of the night;
Yet some dreams,
Some gems, some shame,
Do last through the storms to see daylight.

It is said don't dream, they seldom come true,
A shattered dream often hurts a lot,
I think. at times,
What's The use of life,
Which has no dreams,
To fulfill its wishes,
To unleash what its got!!

I dream of struggle,
To reach my pinnacle,
To showcase my armory,
To display my mettle.
And I dream of defeat,
To absorb the taste of success,
To smell the sweetness of joy,
To burst the dark cloud's kettle.

I dream, am in grief,
And I seek solace in my love,
I get my paradise,
Yet am mortal,
Lying, on a bright & blooming petal.

I dream,
Of having a dreadful nightmare,
In cold fright,
I wake up in the middle of the night,
To always find a soul by me,
To console me, to help me settle..

I dream of life,
Of health, of wealth,
I dream of a dream,
That my dreams come true;
They last like dew-drops,
They live like blood-spots,
Am trying to catch one of them right now,
I open my eyes,
And off it flew....

In Pain, In Vain

2009-01-12T20:52:00.009+05:30

Going through a trauma?
Or in jeopardy I stand?
Hell on earth
I was gifted at birth;
I wanna blaze like a sun,
Like no one has ever done,
Yet I stand,
Recessed and retarded,
Feels like am pointed
On my temple with a gun!!
Its suffocating, this evening,
Am weathered down to my bones;
A shore I seek
To anchor my ship,
And a power so great,
To vanquish all clones.
Suffers a heart, wrangled by blood,
Roars a soul, splashed with mud,
Before the thunder, like the moments of silence,
The sun's tearing the dark night's shroud
With rays of hope, ready to hit hard...

Fate's a Bitch

2008-11-12T18:53:00.006+05:30

A foggy night...its bone-chilling cold,
Yet am warm, or I think it so;
I have no sweater, I have no heater,
But a blood so boiling...just makes me go.....
I can see my shroud, but I must make it wait,
I can smell the earth, but I will make it wait,
"A devil never wins" - is what they say...
But to change my destiny, I must make it wait.
The odds are roaring...I let them roar,
I care for no eunuch, no bitch, no whore;
An armor of God, a sword by Devil,
Is what am making, to change my fate.
All love, all fun, all left behind for none..
A battle to be won, is all that I can see,
A scorpion's sting, a poison with a zing,
Is what awaits the people,
Who try to bury me.

Mr. Lonely

2008-10-26T23:25:00.006+05:30

So many happy faces,
I see everyday in the crowd,
Hand in hand, couples together,
They sound so happy, they look so proud;

Wish I had you with me right now,
I would have loved you so much,
Even love would have been ashamed of itself-
A kiss & a hug, together in a rug,
In a night so cold, we could have fitted in a shelf!

Wish I could turn the clock to move fast,
Or rather, would have made it skip some time,
'Please, o please, I beg off you,
Give me my love' - I would have cried.
This rainy night, brings loneliness with it,
I feel my soul is just not with me;
I feel so annoyed, I feel so restless,
With me, I wish, till the end of my days,
In all pain & gain, you can be.
This night, my love, seems just so long,
Twisting & turning, am crucified in my bed,
No Tom Hanks, no Bruce Willis, no Mozart, no Beethoven,
Can put your face behind some shade.

Wish I could turn my mind off right now,
Can't bear you haunting my senses any more,
I know its impossible to have you right now,
Yet this animal can't stop giving a roar!!

Theme for a Dream

2008-10-10T21:41:00.018+05:30

"In the West there is loneliness, which I call the leprosy of the West. In many ways it is worse than our poor in Calcutta."
- Mother Teresa (Commonweal, Dec 19, 1997)

Was driving back home from the Salt Lake City Centre when I saw a billboard off E.M.Bypass reading, "The city of Tagore, Teresa, Ray & joy...". Don't remember the rest. The caption just struck a chord within me. I felt proud to be born here.

It’s the place to make friends with, to be romantic, to taste rosogolla, to sing a song, to write a poem, to debate, to ride a bus, to walk in the rain, to shop, to play cricket, to watch football, to get refused by a taxi, to watch ‘natok’, to enjoy ‘adda’, to live in the warmth of your family, to have a golden heart and to be happy!

But is it the same city where I was born? The name definitely suggests 'no'. I was born in Calcutta. Am just 22. Yet I can feel that things have changed, and changed mostly for bad. People don't die off hunger nowadays. They die off gunfire. Nature's wrath has been taken over by man here. During my childhood days, I used to hold grandpa's hand and feed the fishes at Pareshnath Mandir...every alternate weekend or so, I used to visit Deer Park in Salt Lake. The fishes have all been cremated, the deers have all been crucified.

A busy summer afternoon in Kolkata. A street full of commuters. An elderly man just sits down on the road sweating profusely and holding his hand over his chest. He crumbles in pain and death sings its lullaby in broad daylight. But not a single person even steals a glance at this poor souls...Am proud of you Kolkata.

Thus, Kolkata has become extremely busy. People are earning lakhs and crores here. So, my deers and fishes have been replaced by malls and multiplexes..brilliant! Even some time back, a packet of popcorn used to cost 5 bucks, isn't it? Kolkata's shining folks...it costs 70 odd bucks in the multiplexes. And thus the rich guys are thickening the line between them and the poor...or are they simply alienating themselves from "humans"??

We live in a democracy. To be precise we live in a SOVEREIGN SOCIALIST SECULAR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC. Hence, even against my will, I have to stay back home on a bandh. I see an auto-rickshaw simply raping the traffic rules, but I have to stitch my lips if I want to avoid a mass beat up. I pay all the taxes levied upon me, yet I spend half the time in darkness. And off course, the bribes I have to offer to make anything work around here...how can I forget that? But still I have to write that I live in a sovereign socialist secular democratic republic!!!

Am a fool really, I still believe that today or tomorrow, this piece of land will shine again. The gates of transition are there no doubt, but they are heavily guarded by the creatures of the night. This former "Manchester of India" needs more than a God for its revival. Am waiting for this God's arrival to fulfill my Utopian dream.

And yes, I was born in Calcutta....not Kolkata

MatheMagic Rediscovered

2008-10-09T20:41:00.010+05:30

"Your answer is incorrect dear... the product the of two negative quantities is always positive", concluded Srirup-da. He was my teacher, a long time back. "What in the name of heaven is this!!", a shocked heart asked this to a petrified brain, but my mouth was glued. Many a time before, similar hiccups have arose within me, each time the answer given being, "..this is the rule. This is how we have done it years back, and this is how you are going to do this as well".
Srirup-da went away, giving 20 odd sums for homework. And I sat down before my computer, which used to have a dial-up connection in those days, totally focused on finding out the secret of this magic of multiplication. Internet was slow, and I was a novice. The net result was the revival of an article from the net after a two and a half hour long search.

There is no definite account about historical development of this subject until the first half of the 7th century when the great Indian mathematician, Brahmagupta, formulated the rules to signs in multiplication. But even then he discarded the negative root of a quadratic. Cardan (1501-1576) was the mathematician who understood the existence of negative numbers and named them 'false numbers'. He made an independent proposition that 'minus times minus gives plus', but it was not followed up by any substantial proof. Later during the first half of the 19th century, another mathematician, Euler, in his book 'On Algebra' argued that the product of (-1) and (-1) must either be (+1) or (-1). Since he had already shown that (1).(-1) = (-1), (-1).(-1) must yeild (+1). This theory was a brave effort but far from satisfactory.
It was not until recent times, after mathematics had made progress in its various branches, that a comprehensive proof to the problem could be given. In the solution associative and distributive laws have been used constantly. It is as follows:
Let a and b be two non-negative real numbers. Then to prove (-a)(-b) = (ab)
(-a)(-b) = (-a)(-b) + b(0)
= (-a)(-b) + b(a-a)
= (-a)(-b) + b(a) + b(-a)
= [(-a)(-b) + b(-a)] + b(a)
= [(-a)(b-b)] + ab
= ab.

I read on, and hammered my gray matter, and finally understood the bloody thing. And a convinced soul muttered just three words: "Love you Internet".

A Peep into the Past

2008-10-09T18:56:00.012+05:30

"Moments make our lives" - I heard this little phrase during my schooldays, don't really remember when though. Period. I found these four words quite fascinating, quite related to my own mode of living. Since I grew up my senses, I had, and I still do have the nasty habit of screwing up anything that is, or was pre-planned. Never did I mess up anything deliberately, but yes, anything planned always becomes a 'comedy of errors' for me. Perhaps this is what being Akash, Akash Chatterjee is all about...

I never really had much bright memories of my childhood, just a few glimpses which I often recall...riding an open jeep, trying to be a man with my ass over a horse, though virtually scared out of my wits, enjoying a top view of Bombay, sitting high above my dad's young shoulder....life used to be so simple, yet mesmerising.
As far as I can go back, I remember that I have always worshipped my grandpa, my Dadu. He has been an idol for me. The mere breath of him still makes me feel warm. The eyes have grown dull, they do not emit energy like the sun anymore, yet, the love, the gentleness, has not faded even a bit. Returning from school, I used to go to watch the buffaloes bathe in the dirty canal waters with Dadu. I used to feed the fish at Pareshnath Mandir, which was very near my house. I used to live in North Kol...sorry...Calcutta.

Have heard that Dadu, Dadi and Mesdi used to live here too till two years after my birth. Then they shifted to Sreebhumi, with me, Ma and Baba beginning a new family here. The reasons for their departure? Have heard many different theories from different people...even different theories from same people at different phases of my life. Dad says that he first took me to Assembly of God Church school for admission, but something must have stunned me there coz according to Dad, I did not even open my mouth!! I used to be quite a bright child, and so, Mom and Dad were disappointed. Again according to Dad, he challenged Mom that no one could stop me from getting into South Point, and I did get in! I remember nothing of my these at all, but am sure I must have made Dad proud. Afterall, a tiger prefers a rough terrain and thus began my life at South Point, "Poroshonar Pithosthan".

Life at school had never been easy for me, never. I was burdened with high expectations from everyone. I used to be a good student, infact a meritorious one. Yet, I never got any recognition from anyone. I still remember the day when my class II annual results came out. I stood 2nd in my section, and 15th all section, i.e., 15th amongst a 1300 odd students, yet I was beaten to hell by Mom back home. It was always like that. It was never how high I could jump. What mattered most was how high I could raise the bar...

[to be continued..]

A Missing Link

2008-10-04T01:09:00.022+05:30

"Are you coming back before Diwali Rick?". The answer came..."Nope dude, my exam starts from the 10th of November".
I asked, "When is this Diwali bro?", and with embarrassment I added, "You know how my memory is..". "October end I think", came the quick response.
"Know what dude, this is the first time in 9 years that we won't be spending the Diwali together".
"9 years eh?" stammered my friend, "yup, 9 long years", he confirmed.
Me and Rick have been friends since class 6. We grew up exploding crackers together. We grew up cracking window glasses with the cricket ball together. We grew up watching girls innocently together. And we grew up marking girls according to their vital stats together.
Then in class 9 he took up Biology as additional while I had to opt for Book-keeping. He selected Eco-Stats-Maths as his core subjects in class 11 while I went for pure science. He then did a graduation in Economics while am still pursuing an Engineering Degree. Now he's in Delhi doing his Masters.
We started together, but we can't even have a glimpse of each other any more. A meeting every afternoon has turned into a call weekly, sometimes fortnightly.
"Can't find a proper room-mate Akash...wish you people were here..". And as usual I tried to reason, "Cummon man, learn to adapt..."
"I will miss Kolkata this Puja Akash, this is my first Puja outside Kolkata. Last year I was thinking that am tired of these same boring pandals and the same boring rituals, but now I would have just loved to be there."
"Chhad de yaar...when you get a job worth 20 p.a., you just make your own puja". I smacked back jokingly.
"Anyways dude, my food is here....and its almost 40 mins!!! This is a STD call...I just..."
"Good luck for your exams dude...nyways, when are you coming back?"
"On 22nd November I guess", he replied immediately.
"Brilliant" I sighed.
"Why?" came a prompt and curious voice.
"Coz my semesters would be round the corner then. Gosh Rick, we are all fucked up!!"
"Anyways, shall call again later, am feeling hungry"
"Okay boss, Chak de phattey, am gonna miss you buddy, am gonna miss you this Diwali"...I said slowly.
"Yup...its gonna be a loooooooong Diwali...Hasta-la-Vista..."
And the link between a 1000 KMs just snapped.

Knockin on Hell's Doors..

2008-10-02T23:45:00.030+05:30

"You want us to go to Delhi, right?", asked mom, "So that another bomb blasts and we never return". I gave a deep dark look, and smacked back.."What if you people go, and while am in a pandal, a bomb explodes....just try to think it the other way round ma." Mom gave up as usual, infact most of the people do. My girlfriend dosen't even try!!

These bloody terrorist attacks are really getting into my nerves. Usually, am quite plucky, but yess, I do fear death. At times, am thinking of staying back home, am thinking of not taking any needless risk. Again, "Fuck them, man.." comes into my mind. Am just an oscillating soul right now.

Kolkata and Chennai are yet untouched. That makes my city all the more vulnerable. But how can I stay back home when I know the whole city has been decorated like a bride! No, I can't, I won't.

"Cummon Sunit, saptami night, whole night. This is our last year in college man! No one knows where the hell we may land up.", and I finally convinced yet another of my friends into this night venture. We would be meeting at 9:00 P.M. and are planning on a whole night trip. Am a bit scared, to be honest, but my spirit can't be chained. I will go out, as I have done throughout my sensible life, as will thousands and lakhs of Kolkattans.

I don't believe in God, I think man is the supreme being. So if one destructs, another will construct. I prefer being in the latter group. And I always will....

Love Again....

2008-10-02T19:50:00.003+05:30

Seems like love,
Trickling down my skin again,
That uneasy feeling's like spreading its jaw,
And stirring my bones again & again!
You are so far,
Seems like a heart-beat away,
Even this page
Shows a picture of yours,
Am feeling like jabbing,
Am feeling like jamming,
Am feeling like red
And again am grey.

Even the crystals won't bother me now,
Even a wall won't disgust me now,
As long as you stand before me my love,
I never would care for
I see you how.

My love
May not be as high as the mountains,
My love
May not be as deep as the sea,
It may not reach the horizon,
Or shine like the stars;
But it is as true and honest
As love itself can be.

When you lay your eyes
On this little piece of work,
I may not feel the same
As I do at this time-
But I do love you,
And I do care for you,
And the dawn will never come,
Even after you are mine!!

Desire of a Fool

2008-09-23T00:35:00.002+05:30

Demented or destroyed,
I know not how I feel;
Tired or dead,
I know not how to separate;
In hell or in a cell,
I know I got to flee;
And surely I don't know,
What's got into me!!
All fucked up,
And frustrated I lie,
Perhaps two days I've lost in vain-
And yet your patience,
Your love and dedication
Has left this arrogant fool in shame.

I need your lap
To put my head on it,
And I need your hands,
To wield that mysterious magic;
I need you my love,
But I just don't know how,
I need you my love,
And I need you right now.

Shine...My Love

2008-06-30T23:29:00.003+05:30

Am feeling like bathing in your light,
My moon;
No barriers, no bonds,
No nothing to fear,
Holding you tight between my arms,
And feel your breath,
From close to closer!!

Lost in your eyes, I want to forget this world,
And touch your wet lips
For ever and ever,
And as I feel your velvety touch,
Am left here, with no more to desire,
And the very next moment,
I want you to be nearer.

I want our love, to fill all spaces between us,
I want our love, to forever embrace us,
I want our love, to flow as timeless as a river,
I want our love, to be like love forever.

I see you my love,
I see a flower about to bloom;
I feel you in my heart,
Like a candle in a room;
I feel your tender touch,
And I get drenched in your love,
I thank the unknown, or I thank myself,
I don't know whom to thank,
From below or above!

I define care, I whisper your name,
I smell your breath, its like a thousand jasmines,
And once again I look into your eyes,
Those brownish twinkling beads
Stare at me, by all means!!

As tired as I can be,
I take a nap on her lap,
And I think, what more can God's Heaven offer,
I live all my life, in those moments of peace,
And I long for more, intense and deeper!!

I beg off the night, to move a bit slowly,
I beg off the night, to let me see my moon,
I envy the clouds, to be so near to you,
I envy them all...who can closely see you!
Again at times, I feel so differently,
I feel like why the hell is life moving so slowly,
I desire that my life will bestow all colors on me,
With you in all the shades, looking like always--
Lovely.

At times I pray,
To the one whom I don't believe,
To give me my life,
To give me my love,
It took me years,
To find her from a crowd,
And then rings my heart,
Saying-'Patience has its rewards'!!

I wait and wait, and am still waiting,
To make her mine in the eternity of time,
A day will come,
Sooner than later,
When the moon and the sun together will shine.

Blast from the past!!

2008-03-06T00:31:00.003+05:30

Look at me...am the "blast from the past",
Lost for words, amidst people so sane..
Deprived off honour...of pride...of dignity,
Lingers my soul, panting for breath, in dire pain!!
Hanged like a corpse, can find no way out,
Feeling like am no one, am alive or am dead??
Gazing at the sky, feeling quite the same..
We both are alone..though even the sky has some tears to shed.
I see yesterday..I was a different man,
Happy-go-lucky, quite a bit plucky,
Star of any show, always ready to go..
A night and a day, can change a whole person..
Thanks god this happened to me...or I would never know!!
Can't believe no one anymore..
Don't even know whose at my side,
All I know is that am lonely on this part,
And I have got a long battle to fight.

My Love

2008-03-05T19:46:00.003+05:30

Expressing emotions, is it my crime, my love?
Being entangled in relations, was it my crime, my love?
Enduring strangers, was it my crime, my love?
Or I committed no crime, is it my crime, my love?

My weakness for u, made me kneel down so much,
Now even the dear old sky looks so far away,
I have been grounded, by heart, by soul,
And now I feel, how the real 'me' suffered a sway.

I would be back..won't I, my love?
I would wait for the day...I would strike from above,
And even if I care for none of them anymore...
Would u drift away from me, my love?

The Scorpion King

2007-09-08T14:29:00.003+05:30

Some years have passed, many still to go,
Some bad times gone, many more to show,
Strength in character and faith in soul
Are the weapons I have to reach my goal;
Fighting this world on a lonely battlefield,
No sword, no army, not even a shield-
And here I stand winning all in my way,
This is what "The Scorpion King" has to say!

Thundering through Life

2007-08-21T16:45:00.002+05:30

The mists of future are drenched by the rains,
They flow like blood in our very own veins,
Some crystal balls, some lights of hope,
Some emotions so intense are difficult to cope;
Here comes a gush of the good strong wind,
Wiping all bad, blessing all who have sinned,
The pangs of agony, the strings of joy,
Playing with life just like a toy,
You can run a lot, but you just can't hide,
You can loose the battle or put up a fight,
Tearing the gown, just spread your thunder,
And this life will take you to any place that you may wonder!!

Wish Of a Heart B4 Exam

2007-08-10T18:00:00.002+05:30

Why the hell are you disturbing me?
Can't you bear to see me in glee!
Am not being able to study a bit,
Am feeling like am mentally unfit,
Each time I blink,
I see your face,
But in a wink all fades away,
I know not what kind of magic is this,
But what I know -
Is am in a hell lot of dismay!
My girl is nowhere at sight,
My sweet little mermaid,
The glow of my soul,
The sand-clock is making me impatient by the hour,
Am alone, am lonely, am feeling incomplete -
When will I again feel like whole???

Girl - An ode to my sister

2007-08-06T13:25:00.003+05:30

A girl's a little charmer
From her very early days
Who'll you round her finger
With sweet & dainty ways....
She's a giver of tea parties,
A maker of mud pies,
A nurse to many ragged dolls
A mischief with bright eyes.
She's an angel in pink ruffles,
The star of many shows,
And she'll make her loving family
Even prouder as she grows...
She's a dreamer and a doer
Who'll keep you in a whirl....
She'll bring you special happiness,
That darling little girl!

Front Bencher

2007-08-06T13:12:00.002+05:30

Element : Front Bencher

Symbol : Fb

Atomic No. : 1

Relative Density : Lighter than his classmates

Equation for preparation : Front Bench + student = Studies + Front Bench

Occurrence :

On the first bench of classroom
In tuitions
In libraries
In quiet places

Physical properties :

Looks like a zero
Listens carefully to teachers
Never disturbs classmates

Chemical properties :

Acts ridiculously resulting in coming 1st
Teachers' words are nectar to him
Extremely sensitive to studies
Reacts with chalks to do sums on blackboard

Some general properties :

Helpful to library owners
Pride of teachers and parents

Precautions : Never debate on studies with them

N.B. Girls can stay close to them

Peace Please

2007-08-06T13:06:00.002+05:30

Oh please, oh please!
All we need is peace;
Wars, fights, now & then,
We are not much insane.
The motto of Gandhiji's life -
Is now replaced by gun & knife,
Instead of peace, weapons are made:
Everywhere people are lying dead!

We keep quiet, but we are not weak,
Its peace we want, not war we seek.
Don't provoke us, for you won't have any gain,
Because its the last word we say -
"India won't be divided again!!!"
We have given you much time,
Now you too decide fast,
Do not wake up the sleeping tiger,
Or it will be your last.
The clock of history is ticking away,
What you want, just tell -
"India-Pakistan in harmony"
or,
"Pakistan is in hell"?

The Back Bencher - A tribute to Physical Science

2007-08-04T13:20:00.002+05:30

Element : Back Bencher

Symbol : Bb

Atomic No. : 420

Equation for preparation : Back bench + student = Staring into space + Back bencher

Relative Density : Heavier than his class fellows

Occurrence :

On the rear bench of classroom
On the front rows of cinema halls
In restaurants
In the 'common room'
In passing remarks on others

Physical properties :

Looks like a film hero
Has the latest style of hair-cut
Always steals a nervous glance at his wrist watch during lessons
Generally disturbs his classmates

Chemical properties :

Acts ridiculously resulting in quarrels and fights
Teachers' words are Greek or Latin to him
Extremely sensitive to movies
Reacts with chalks to make cartoons on blackboard

Some general properties :

Good consumer of his parents' money
Helpful to restaurant owners
Headache to teachers and parents

N.B. Girls stay away from them

Maker of Smile

2007-08-04T13:15:00.001+05:30

Do you know who in the world
Keeps a smile on my face?
He's not my dad, He's not my mom,
But He is neither less.
He gives me this, He gives me that,
He never refuses anything -
He's so good, he's so nice,
He's so honest and so loving.
I love Him more than anything,
He's a perfect gentleman.
He always thinks the best for me,
The best that he can.
I am influenced by His actions,
I like His way and style,
Can you guess who He is?
My Grandpa, the maker of smile.

Home ALone

2007-08-04T12:52:00.001+05:30

Alone, alone, looking at the stars,
Through the window, the people and the cars!
Everywhere dark, nothing to see
Where is the door and where is the key?
Trapped in a house - so quiet and cold
Why couldn't I be brave and bold.
I could hear a knock somewhere,
Then I realized - it was my heart right here!
Candle, Oh! Candle, where you are
Are you angry and looking at the star?
What to do, where to go -
If I tumble, who will save me so?
Mustering up courage, I went to the kitchen,
Madly searching for the candle in vain.
When will you come Mom, when will you come?
With fright and cold I was just standing mum.
Suddenly the lights flashed up before my eyes,
How nice, the good old light, how nice!

Oh Lord, Save Us

2007-08-04T12:47:00.001+05:30

Cruelty, inhumanity everywhere,
Oh Lord! Save us from this plight,
The world harmony has lost its truth;
People are engaged in a never ending fight.
Oh Lord! You alone can save us,
From your wrath for destroying mankind,
Be kind, do something, before its too late
For us to truth, find.
Far and near, destruction everywhere,
Darkness is reigning at its best,
Thieves and robbers and all evil doers
Are having their lives' fest.
Save us, save us or else it will be too late,
The world you have created with love and care,
Will become the hell of hate.

Exam Fear

2007-08-04T12:43:00.001+05:30

What shall I do?
Oh! What shall I do?
Exams are knocking at my door
But when I try to study
It becomes an absolute bore
This way I am going to fail
The fear is in my heart
To hide this inner emotion
I am trying to act smart
Earlier I thought I would manage
At the final hours before exam
But now I know no way
Just like a man trapped in traffic jam
Someone please help me
Or the ship will soon sink
What shall I do?
Oh! What shall I do?
-That's the only thing I now think!!

The Indian Police

2007-08-04T12:30:00.001+05:30

Oh has good our police!
Seldom they hold a malice!!
Being often time, an accomplice!!!
To whatsoever a criminal be!
Whether they "loot" or "choree"!!
Or indulge in a big robbery!!!

No matter a crime how much gory!
Seldom we find a watchman sorry!!
Whether the robbers come in a lorry,
Or on a motorbike!
The action of our policeman,
Are simply ever alike!!

We have our great free country.
Why not enjoy the pleasantry?
Why be least, ever put into trouble?
Just for being employed as a sentry?!!

Hail Policemen, Hail!
You've well set up, perfect your sail!
With just no chance, ever once to fail!
Every criminal must have their bail!
If got caught up ever by their tail!
Hail, Policemen, Hail!!